The Death Doula (with Jennifer Awinda)

This week we take a dive into a unique side of the healthcare industry: end-of-life care. Author Jennifer Awinda has written more than twenty books about dementia, end of life care, and medical care. Her new book, Cold Hearts Warm Bodies, delves into the highs and lows of elder care and senior living. Join us in learning the difference between Alzheimer's Disease and dementia, and some of today's challenges in healthcare.

Thanks to our Amazing Guest:
Jennifer Awinda
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Transcript

0:44

Everybody. I'm Brandon Fox. You're on another week of Grandpa show. I'm here with my amazing co-host, as always, Phines, our amazing producer, Sierra. And also grandpa is here with us. So and today we have our amazing guests. Jen, a window. My thing. That's correct. Awesome. Yeah. So sorry. What are you saying, Grandpa? I forgot. I don't. Represent. Yeah. I think it was something about my mother having. Having dementia. There you go. Yes, Yes, I can recall things, but it takes a little longer. As long as you can. Then you're good. Well, I watched this program, Jeopardy! I don't know if you ever watch it, but I know a lot of the answers, but I can never pull it up in my head as quickly as the contestants do. I never remember to say what is the other one? When you answer with like, what is something in? Yeah, that's the hardest part, I think to answer as a mean. To. Have a. Question instead of the answer. Right or the is because for me so. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't usually have the answer right either but I'll still just blurt out something and I say what is and then say what is at the end. Wrong it wrong answer. What is. A Jen? Where did you get your training or how did you get your training? A lot of it, most of it has been right. There on the job, working. You know, in the industry for. Almost. Two decades. And then, of course. Weren't even looked at young and I'm being serious about that. I mean, you don't look that old, I should say. All right. Well, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. You really don't tip for two decades. It's really been working at it for 20 years. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't we rotate or rewind, Jen, and actually have you tell our audience what you do and where what you actually study? Oh, right. Very good. Well, good evening. Wherever you are. My name is Jim. Jennifer Wenda. I am an assisted living facility manager, a dementia practitioner, a deaf Dula, an author illustrator. I do a lot of different things. I volunteer for hospice companies, better Alzheimer's Institute, the Alzheimer's Association, and I work with a lot of different industry professionals, almost two decades working in senior, living in memory care, not just memory care, but dementia care units there. There definitely is a difference. Not everyone with dementia has memory issues at first, like with Alzheimer's. But yeah, so it mostly stationed in the Phenix, Arizona area. However, I've done regional roles in Nevada, in Oregon and Texas, and so I've done a lot of traveling and I've written plenty of books about dementia and about senior care in general. So steps to take when you're looking for certain things, or maybe some things you didn't know you should be looking for. I kind of give you some of the answers, like that Jeopardy thing we were talking about. I kind of. Point people in the right direction when they're sometimes at a loss when it comes to senior care, senior living and dementia and the dying process. And so, yeah, that's who I am. Jim, I have a general question. What is the difference between dementia and Alzheimer or is one part of the other? Yeah, and I'm glad you. Asked that question because dementia is expected to increase by over 200% within the next two decades. So everyone's going to have to really understand what the differences are. So Alzheimer's is a disease just like Parkinson's is a disease. And there's a lot of different diseases that cause dementia. But also traumatic brain injury can cause dementia. Chemical abuse like. Alcohol. And drug abuse that can cause chemically induced dementia. Your severe stroke could cause vascular dementia. So Alzheimer's is just one of the many things that causes dementia. Dementia itself is the symptoms, just the symptoms. It's the cognitive decline. The behavior changes the it's strictly the symptoms. So if someone says to me, my mother has a diagnosis of dementia, I'm like, okay, what kind? Because if it's Parkinson's, maybe that person is very rigid. Maybe they had a lot of tremors, maybe they're having hallucinations versus if they have vascular dementia, maybe they had a massive stroke and the paralysis is on a particular or side. So dementia is just the symptoms of that cognitive decline versus all the different things like Alzheimer's that causes it. Mm hmm. I'm sorry. But I heard. Oh, I was just going to say you said 200% increase. Is that just because people are living longer or environmental factors that are making things worse or. All of those things are factoring into it? Yes, we're prolonging life, stretching it out as long as possible so your chances increase over the age of 85. And there is a difference between normal aging and disease. Right? So normal aging. I had a grandfather who passed away at 98 years old. He can remember every single thing he ate yesterday, what he did yesterday, last week, even when you asked that question, it might not come to you right away, but it comes to you. And you remember someone asked you that question. You know, you're not mistaking a fork for a hairbrush. Okay. So normal aging, you you might lose your keys, everyone loses their keys. But when you forget where keys are, that's another story. I think that there's something to eat with. Now, that's a problem, right? The confusion. That's your dementia. It's going to increase by over 200% because of. Yes, the heart disease and vascular disease that we are accumulating in our population. That's one of the main killers, right, of our population, in addition to. So it's not just lifestyle, though. It also factors into genetic something. It's it's hereditary, Right. So some of these diseases are hereditary. And if you couple that with a lifestyle that is not conducive to fighting off disease, then you know, we've got a problem there. So and then of course, too, we've got to even think about. The. Drugs on the street. There's a lot of homelessness now in a lot of those communities have all kinds of different things floating around there. Right. And so that chemically induced dementia is going to play into it, not just necessarily the Alzheimer's or Parkinson's or, you know, vascular. Right. There's going to be so many more things that are going to affect or in to why that's going to increase so high, in addition to the fact that the baby boomers are now filtering in. So they call it the silver tsunami. The I see them all coming into the assisted living. Now the G.I. generation is passing away. You know, those World War Two veterans, and now it's the Korean and the Vietnam veterans that are coming in. Right. So we're seeing the baby boomers. They're living longer and they're coming in younger with a lot more diseases. So, yeah. 200%. And but it's nationwide, not just here and also worldwide that that factor is in the statistics. So they're talking about on a worldwide basis because our lifestyle is also in other countries. You got KFC and McDonald's in South Africa and wherever else, right? So that's just all playing into it. So. Sam Oh yeah, yeah. I got questions and comments. This is all cool stuff and I am a little familiar with dementia and Alzheimer's a little bit, and I listened to something recently about it, so that's pretty cool too. But the first question is how many kinds of dementia are there? So like you were saying, like someone's like, Oh, my grandmother or someone has dementia, Is there like, you know, is there going to be like, if I'm going to be like, oh, this is my mom's or dad or whatever it has or has this, am I going to be bogged down with a bunch of different versions of it? Are there like one, two, three, four? No, there's there's lots, there's lots of different things. You know, so many different. Things that I mean, probably close to 100 things. It was around that 80 mark, maybe five before the pandemic, I heard there was about 80 different things that cause dementia. And. Post pandemic. I haven't gotten those. I haven't looked into it to see how many different things I was, just like, it's off the charts. So it's it's off the charts. All right. So I like the thing about confusion and forgetfulness. That's pretty cool. Okay. Before I go to my last one, though, I like what you're also saying with the homelessness and drug use and stuff like that. But I this is someone who doesn't know so much as much as you about dementia and Alzheimer's, but it's just we're a soldier, social creatures and as we get older, we get like less social activity. I wonder. And also the homeless are people without homes also have a lot of isolation. I would wonder if that has something to play into. The lack of communication and socializing has something to do with the mentioned autonomous. Oh yes, I do. Believe that for sure. Because I watch people go crazy slowly in their rooms all the time. They refuse to come out. They don't want to come out from. You know, to the dining room. They don't want to socialize with anyone other than the caregiver providing personal care. And I know that isolation is not good for them. But is it also a situation where other people don't want to socialize with them? Yes. Well, especially when there's behaviors some people get really mean and not everyone is sweet and pleasant. Right? Especially when you're in pain and you can't express what's going on. You're only. Outlet. I hate to say it this way, but as with children, when they're infants, let's say that they can't tell you that they're hot or they're hungry or they're agitated, Right? They just going to show you and you have to pick up those signs. And that's exactly what it is with dementia. So people have behaviors when they can't express their needs. Not everybody, but. A lot of people I've been working with over the years and. Their families hate to visit people. The caregivers are like, Oh gosh, we got to go take care of this person. And she's so mean. She hits, she punches, she does all these things. So yeah, it's. It's hard to be around some of those people. It really is. Yeah. Especially if you. Are the. Care, you are the spouse. That's taking care of your loved one in the home. Oh my. Then that that's a lot. That's a lot is different when you go to an eight hour or a 12 hour shift and then you go home. So but yeah, people going slowly, going crazy in their rooms. That's kind of how it feels. A lot of times. What happens to the people that don't have anyone to take care of them, like don't have family and are going through this kind of thing? Well, if they don't have family, then the state is going to have to appoint some type of a case manager or legal guardian, someone who can make sure that if they have any money, you know, maybe a fiduciary, something they have a home, whatever, that someone is making sure that they are taken care of and they're likely going to be in a facility setting if they have nobody. And they're just in the home alone. And now the state has to get involved. Right. They're not just going to be able to have dementia and be wandering off, not being able to get their groceries and waiting for a geriatric care manager to come and hopefully. You know, be able to help out. So if you. Have dementia and you don't have any family, then yeah, the state is somebody is going to have to step in. Some people have friends that are their power of attorney. I have actually got a couple of residents. They have no children. So it is one of them has a group of friends that are taking care of her. And but that that also becomes a. Challenge, too. Because sometimes they fight against each other and there would be some dramas there. So while. You're young, appoint a power of attorney. To help you. And if you have property, you make sure you have a trustee. You put it in a trust because a will ain't going to prevent you from having to go through probate afterwards. Right? So there's a lot that plays into it. My my wife is a hairdresser and she's been doing it for many, many years. And a lot of her customers are quite aged. They're 89 years and even some in the hundreds this morning, one called it 7:00 in the morning. She's supposed to come in like on a on a Thursday or Friday, and she didn't know what day it was or what it was Thursday, you know, losing her mental capacity. And peers, you know, you don't know what. But I think my wife helps a lot of them are not just doing their hair, but her being a companion to them. Yeah. So it's interesting to me that that you're dealing with people that lost their memory and can't articulate and you're probably as a guest, one of the most articulate people that we've had on, on this podcast. Well, the residents teach me a lot. They teach me to slow down. I have a lot of energy. I'm just like, Well, let's do this right. I'm a go getter, right? So they. Have taught me to speak slower when I'm around them, to speak very clearly. And, you know, use a lot of hand. Gestures. So they kind of follow. Along a little better. But I don't know. I speak slowly, as you can tell. Usually I'm all fired up. A person that has some form of dementia that would ask the same question over and over and over What what what is that all about? That sounds like Alzheimer's, dementia. And that one is the most common form of dementia. A 75. Percent, you know, of all dementias are the Alzheimer's dementia. Sometimes it's mixed dementia, Alzheimer's and some other things too. But that Alzheimer's of it attacks the hippocampus that holds your memories. It takes your short term memories and turns them into long term memories. And when you start when you're not able to take to take in those short term memories anymore, you start remembering the past and getting comfortable with repeating the same thing. So you're still part of the conversation, You're still trying to figure things out. You can say what you can say, right? But yeah, that memory. But with Alzheimer's, it does get to a point where they stop being able to find the right word to say so that that, that thing, that thing. That's right. And so when. It when you. Do have some words you can still hold. On to. There you go. And if there's some rhythm, the right side of the brain, the right temporal lobe, tends to keep the rhythm. So even if they can no longer speak, even if they can't remember things very well, if you start singing Jingle Bells or you start singing The Star-Spangled Banner or something that they were raised with from their earlier, maybe the twenties when they were 20 years old, but also from high school, they'll start probably start jamming, right. Because that's that's in. Their soul from when they were children. But the newer stuff gets lost. So we do have to use those. Old. Memories, the. Old. Smells, the grandma's cookies kind of smells, right. The old. Memories that they can tack on to instead of trying to get them to come into our reality. While you're up and. You're upbeat. I I'm going to ask you, I got though I had somebody else say. Well, I just I can imagine it's very fulfilling, but probably very draining and a very difficult field. So why, I guess, where does the passion stem from for this specific field? Well, it started with my grandparents, so my dad is black, my mom is white. Okay. Whatever that means. In this country, there is a cultural difference. My mother's family, my my grandmother and my grandfather, they had two different types of dementia. They both ended up having to go into institutions. My paternal grandparents, my grandmother, she had vascular dementia, but she was taken care of at home. And then my paternal grandfather, he had no dementia at all. He was. Sharp. It was just his physical body was breaking down, but he was sharp as a tack and that he also was taking care of at home. So the getting into the industry was when basically when I went to the skilled nursing facility to see my grandfather. That's really what pushed me a little over the edge. I was I was upset because I went for his and it knew it was like going to be his last birthday. Okay. We could all see the time is coming. I'm not going to try and give him another pill and procedure. Right. So he was in the skilled nursing and I've got the cake with the Oreo cookies because he loves Oreo cookies. You know, things like that. Try to make it special. But my little kids with me and this is going back almost 20 years ago. Okay. But the seniors that were in the skilled nursing facility, they were like, he came. He don't know what you're talking about. He don't know what you who you are. They were trying to give me that kind of energy. And I was like, That's my grandpa. You've lost your mind, lady. You're more confused than he is. Okay? He wasn't like that. Oh, and and, you know, I get fired up. I try to. Control my emotions. I do. But anyways, from. There, that's when I started working in senior living. Of course, he passed away. My maternal grandmother had passed away. She had the Alzheimer's dementia. And yeah, that's kind of what got me into the industry. And from there it was just trying to improve their lives, right? I came in as an activity director, trying to get them engaged, to do an all kinds of fun things. And then when the great grandkids would come to visit and they were playing over here in the corner and Grandma is over here bored, come, come engage. Right. I started making the intergenerational programs and trying to get kids in to do the crafts and do the little cookie socials and anything, little dances, you know, just to get them involved with each other. And I started writing books about it for children, for children to have little five year old, ten year olds to have ideas with what to do when you come into a facility or you go into your grandmother's home and or grandfather or whoever, and they've got advanced dementia, something you can do to where you're still you are connecting. Those connections are so important. I'm glad you said that because it's the loss of connections that is dementia. Right? Those are the the symptoms, the loss of the connections. And when we disconnect from people, when we disconnect from the children, then we're perpetuating some negative energies in our self. How is that? So? Yeah, that's what got me into it. Grandparents being in their older years and ever since it's been my life, they kind of just threw my kids into it too. They had to volunteer. They were at all the Halloween and the Easter Bunny hats and all that. So, you know. Singing the Christmas carols. Yeah. Well, this is perfect because I want to nerd out more about the social stuff. And I'm like, Oh, man, has so much to do with social stuff. And I didn't want to talk over it cause I'm like, You're the professional on it. But I totally think that that has so much to do with it. Like, oh, like what you were saying earlier about, oh yeah, comparing when we compare people with dementia, with children, I mean, we're all human like children, just like me. We both I mean, there like we see it like, I don't know, like we still get frustrated when I can't when you don't know how to articulate yourself or you're upset when you don't know, like, it doesn't matter that the age to me, essentially it's all about the root thing. But I think a lot of I don't know, like ageism in general comes from just not socializing enough with people of different ages like, you know, and I definitely think that that's a connection with with least like from my gut, I don't know. But I think definitely has some of the connection with the decline of your brain. But I also heard something about dementia or Alzheimer's being like diabetes Part three or something that you hear about it, or do you know anything about that? Well, they're trying to say that that heart disease, basically heart disease, is is coming in. That's how I take it. You know, that's kind of the vascular dementia is on a rampage right now because people are not taking care of themselves. And we're eating. We're eating, according to what we've been told is healthy, are bacon and eggs for breakfast. Right. But very good for our body. It's it's adding to disease and science is showing that now. So, yeah, the the diabetes, the untreated. And you know what it's important to talk about a lot of things. You know I do the YouTube videos, too. I actually stopped. Though. Right when my grandpa passed away because it was real hard When he passed, it was right when the pandemic was coming in. But and now I'm doing the videos again. But one of the videos that I did and I know this is hard for some people, especially fellas, to talk about, is erectile dysfunction. The heart disease is plaguing our nation. We're worried about COVID. You're worried about getting Alzheimer's. We should be more concerned about getting heart disease because that's what's taken most of us out right now. And I don't see it slowing down. The erectile dysfunction is your first sign that there's something wrong. So I know it's a real tough topic, but anybody is having those issues. They got blood circulation problems. That's the bottom line. So Alzheimer's is behind. The. Actually, the dementia is it hasn't even caught up to the heart disease yet. I know at one point it will surpass it. But our three main causes of death right now are that heart disease, the cancer and the dementias. That's what's taken us out. So staving off the disease is it's the only way we're going to prevent these things right? Yeah. Now, when were talking about the socialization. Those connections are very important this time. 100 years ago. We were being born in the home we raised. We were together with multiple generations. We died in the home. We were not disconnected. People grew up on farms and they saw death all the time. They saw birth all the time. It wasn't a taboo. Now it's taboo because, you know, mid-century, 1900s, it started being in institutions. You're born in a hospital and you die in a hospital and now we're at a point where people are scared of death. They're they're scared of all of these. They're scared, Gosh, you can't even say the wrong things. I'll probably be canceled for something I say right? People are scared of so many different things. But if we. Saw it more often, you get more desensitized. And I don't mean see it in the bang Bang movie, right, Or see it on the street. Bang, bang. That's not a good. Way either, right? Those are kind of dramatic. But as a regular process in life, the, you know, the aging process and every scene that lives eventually dies. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's where we're having some real problems, you know, with the families. They're coming in and they just want mom to live. And mom has broken down. Mom is tired. Mom can't do physical therapy again, and you're forcing her to walk laps around the community and her energy, her luminous cocoon is is dying. It's draining. Right. And so I think that has a lot to do with the Depression And with the reason why dementia has increased so much is because our people, they move away, you get married, you get your family, that's your job and you're gone. You don't talk to me. Oh, oh, Happy Mother's Day. You know. On the phone, right? Maybe you send some flowers or some chocolates for Christmas and you know. It's we're so removed from our. Elders and it's it's disheartening. It's really disheartening because we do have a nature. We are part of nature. When we are around children, the elders, they light up around children the same way that when we bring in the pets, the pet therapy, the bunny rabbits and the puppy dogs, they connect with that nature when I take them for a walk, even if they're they can't relate to what's going on in reality today. If you take them outside and start talking about wonderful things outside, they relate to that. So that is what stays that natural part of life stays right. And we need those connections. We can't just hold up in one room not talking to anyone, not getting any fresh air. You know, just doing crossword puzzles. Well, you were good at crossword puzzles. That's not growing your brain. If you're good at it, you have to think, you know. Go outside. Your comfort zone in order to keep growing. Right. So I think those have a lot to play with it, too. I was watching a program on TV, which seems unrelated to what we're talking about, but what was the program Nature? And they were showing that that the the organisms or the animals of the sea need to have relationships with other creatures in order to survive, even like an octopus, a fish whale, whatever it is. Even coral, they need to have relationships and they have various types of relations with all the other animals. They ordered five, I guess. Yes. I guess it's important and. Well, nature, right? Yes. Birds flock together, right. Well, these were not even the same species you could have. You could have a a crab that that hangs on to a different type of animal. And they they coexist together. Well and even, you know, thousands of years. Right. People they they stayed in groups. Your chances, their survival. Was better in a group. Right. And I think it's the same way now. And being just because you're in the city doesn't mean you're in a group. You're not. If. You're not getting any real, if you're just waiting for the mailman and you're watching TV, that's not going to help, you know, to create those connections. Mm hmm. Jen, you said that you were talking about desensitization, and I'm sure that you've seen death a lot. Are you no longer afraid? And were you and has that changed and stuff? And I've been kind of a funny person, though, so I'm not afraid. It's to me is just going to sleep. We all go to sleep every single night. And you know, when it's your time, half the time people are not even in like. Their own. House. This in my community, you know, when they get to that point, we have them on hospice. They we have them on comfort meds. So they're not in pain. They kind of gently they gently go, you know, I mean, yeah, you hear the death rattle and you cleaning up the mucus and sometimes stuff off the mouth. And it's a natural phase, though, you know, you got to. Keep. Them cleaned and turned and things like that. So they're not problems, but they're usually on meds, liquid morphine, and they're comfortable. So it's not a distressing and it's not so distress thing anymore because we've got hospice on board hospice. And now hospice is, of course, across the nation, right across the world, there's hospices. There are a handful of hospices in each state. But in Arizona. There's almost two, maybe a little. Over 200 hospices. We're talking 200 pastor companies there. The hospice is. Huge in. This area. So the I deal with hospice all the time. All the time. And they make life so much easier in our facility because they're coming in, they're helping with showers, the helping with medication management. If this person if there's something going wrong with this person and it's scary, then we're calling hospice. We're not calling 911. So this confused person doesn't have to go at the end of their life to the emergency room, you know, So they just make it very much easier for us in the assisted living facilities and dementia care facilities. But like, is this all sort of knowledge and your thoughts on it are very peaceful, right? So is it something that you've gained and learned through the work or are you just you said you're a funny person. Like I've always sort of had that mindset and stuff. Okay. I was raised in Oakland, California, and so and this was in the eighties and I saw things that happened out there, right? And it I kind of got desensitized to some degree. Like this is just part of life and it's not a big deal for me that. Let me just put it like that. Yes, it's it's hard to lose someone you love when it's someone that's personal to you. It's a whole different it's much harder than when it's a stranger on the street. So but you know what? Even even last year I was driving driving up Grand Avenue and a motorcyclist coming the opposite direction on the other side of the road got hit by a car and came flying into all that. The motorcycle, the motorcycle was cut in half, but he came flying into the car in front of the car in front of me, and immediately I'm reaching for what I need and I'm on phone with 911 before I even had the car in park. And as I'm running up to him, I'm like, Oh my gosh, did I look like my keys in the car? I'm thinking to myself, Right, But it's just a get in there and just it's, you know, I mean, he was I don't know if he made it or not, but we knew what we needed to do because when you do it a bunch of times or when you see it a lot, it's not a not as much of a big deal. You know, that is a funny it's. Still a big deal. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We get it. You gangster even seen it all joking. But no, that's good. On his. Good. It's still. Chaotic. No. This control. Isn't. Great. No, this is. This is all tied into me because I just finished this, like, you know, this book about love and everything. And there's this whole ending chapter about, like, death and, like, our whole society being so fearful of death. And, you know, that's what makes us so fearful to love it. Once you are okay with like, Hey, I'm ultimately going to die, it happens. You go to sleep. It makes you more open to be vulnerable and connect with people. So, so nice love connection, blah blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And I also think it's a very good technique to get people aware of heart disease by especially the male perspective, by talking about it because like, you know, you rather have your heart died and you did not get up, you know, kind of thing. Like at least from men, at least from what I heard. So, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Good stuff. And it's funny. It's right. Yeah, that's real. You don't want. To lose your quality of life just to stay alive. Right? Is something I'm watching people that are grueling on themselves, they can't figure out where they are. They're high anxiety, They're freaking out, They're crying. They're like. Those are not my. Meds. And they're like. On one. Right. And what kind. Of quality of life is that?

Yeah, we're having bingo at 3: 35:41

00 and yes, we have our singing coming up and our entertainer will come too. And we're making bacon cookies today. But what quality. Of life is that? So now for me, I wrote a book for the teenagers. It was called Once The Man Twice a Child Dementia Education for Teens and that one, it doesn't just break down different what dementia is, what Alzheimer's is and stuff like that, Parkinson's and the symptoms. But it also talks about activities to do and and hoarding and delusions and things like that. Right. And I made that because it's just it's a full circle. It is a full circle. At the end of life. You need someone to take care of you. Even if you're not confused. You're still going to. Need someone to take care of you the same way as it was in the very beginning of life. You had a small hole. It was your. Mom, your dad, maybe your siblings. And then you got older and expanded your world, expanded. You started driving, you started traveling the world. You had your own family, and then it kind of shrinks back down and it shrinks right back down to your intimate family and the caregivers are around you. And so. What. Kind of quality of life is it, though, If you. Are stuck. In where you feel like you're stuck, you feel like you're trapped? People are like, Get me out of here. I want to go home. Things like in their anxiety and anxious and all we can do is try another medication to and balance them out a little bit and hopefully they won't go be over the top every evening. Right. It's it's real hard, though, to to try and find quality for life when you can't. Breathe or, you. Know, your legs. Are all swollen, you know, so. There's so many different symptoms at the end of life that steal your happiness away, feeling comfortable in your own skin. You must have a great love for people to be able to deal with all of this and handle all of it. I'm very sensitive and kind of like try to to ignore things, you know, the negatives in life. But you seem like a person who can handle it. And, you know, you're outgoing and pleasant and and obviously a real people person. There are a lot. Yeah, but it is hard. It's very hard. Yeah, it's hard. So all we can. Do is stay positive. Right? And and be. Prepared. Learn as much as you can right now because with the stats as they are, that means it's not just likely that you will know someone with it, but it's it's quite possible that, you know, one of us on this program might have it in another 20 or 30 years. Right. And so it's it's very scary. And. Well, what's the numbers? One, two, five. Oh, I'm not even sure what the numbers are like. That 1 to 5. In. Another in another 20 years with that increase. 200, I'm not. Sure it's going to be five out of five of us are probably. It's bad. It's scary for. Us, right? Yeah. I ain't trying to do math. Well, okay, well, we're sorry. Yeah, it's a man. With a few more minutes. Everyone gets you. Basically at one. Yeah, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Now, just. Eat. And you basically mentioned nutrition. So it sounds to me like diet is a big issue with with not developing dementia, the diet and probably exercise as well. Yeah, of. Course, that's what the doctors have been saying. For a long time, too. Right. But the problem is the physicians are not really taught nutrition in medical school. They might get, you know, 20 minutes or an hour out of the all the years they're in school. Right. So we've been trained to eat by commercials that say milk does his body good. And what's for dinner, right. We've been trained that the food pyramid and. The American Heart Association's website with Reps recipes is what we need to be going. By. Right. But the things on those. Websites are causing. Some of the diseases. And so it's like, what do you do? Okay, well, my husband. Actually, he's all whole foods. He doesn't eat anything from a can. He actually is. He pressure. Cooks has been so doesn't he doesn't have the soap for 6 hours or whatever but he's all whole foods. He doesn't eat any animal products. Nothing. No milk, no cheese, no none of that stuff. And that's harder for me. It's easier for him because he was raised in Kenya. They eat kale all the time. For us, kale was a garnish. It was a at the what is it? The display buffet is just an issue. Right. And so it's harder for. Me to get into. Well, actually, I did I did the vegan thing for quite a few years, but, man, that was hard. So hard. Right? And in a lot of times the vegan stuff is all processed. The veggie burgers and all these fake and bacons and, you know, it's all processed food anyway. So they're not necessarily good for our health either. We're we're at a stuck point. If even if you get some vegetables, if you didn't grow them yourself, you just hope they're organic, I guess because we're not sure about what. The GMOs are going to do. So what do you do? All of us. Are kind of at a loss. But the overall is. That if you eat Whole Foods and put the cheeseburger down, you'll be better off. I was just saying in a broadcast where colon cancer is becoming much more prevalent in younger people today, I saw that like must be something in the food. I would think, you know something and what in their diet what people are eating. Well a lot of our foods are banned in other countries anyways. So yeah. That in itself I think gosh, the food. Coloring that we use this. Band even to make the salmon pink, that's a that's a. Chemical that's banned in other countries that makes our farmed salmon pink. But but are people in other countries living longer? Are they healthier? Well, I. Know their dementia rates are increasing, too. So there you have it. Right. It's going up everywhere. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. We've talked so much about the food pyramid on this, on this show in the past. Um, yeah. And it's really hard. I hear you, I went vegetarian like a year ago and I, I really wanted to, not for health reasons more so animal stuff and I gained like £20 very quickly and I was just like the least healthy I'd been, you know, it's like it's very hard to find the balance and stuff like that. So, yeah, I wanted to ask you about like your actual you said your, your community, your building. So is it all solely older people with dementia or are there people without dementia that are there like older individuals or what is your actual building or place that you own or work and stuff? The facility that I manage is owned by two registered nurses and it's it's a locked facility. So you have to have the secret code to get in right because we can't have anyone wander out. There are a few people who. Don't have dementia there who can have a conversation with you about what was on the news just yesterday and who's running for presidency. Right. But for the most part, everyone else has dementia. So or a severe enough cognitive impairment that if they went and saw the neurologist today, they would have a dementia diagnosis. But a lot of people don't get the diagnosis or a PCP, a primary care physician will say, yeah, this person has dementia, but then it won't hold up like in court. Right? It won't hold up unless a neurologist. You know, that sounds so familiar. And I guess it's silly for me not to know the difference, but I just the last job I worked was working with people with disabilities and usually cognitive by all types of disabilities, but cognitive was the main one. And your set up sounds very similar, do you? Yeah, I don't know. That's it. Yeah. My career has primarily been in the larger facilities, so I at one point managed a 150 bed five story assisted living and memory care facility, and the memory care was on the second floor. Ah. That was weird because how do you get the residents out for sunshine when they're in the second floor? Yeah. So. And what about fire? Yeah, fire exits and stuff. I bet fire was the thing called. We have to do those drills where it must have been a pain. Yeah. Like that. Drills. Evacuation drills. Well, the. Scariest thing was when a resident who had dementia, who must have been some type of he was. He was good with his hands and and and anyways, he was able to enter a window. He got out the window onto the ledge on the second floor, and he was saying, I'm going to jump. I'm getting the heck out of here. I'm getting out of here. And we had to call the police and all that stuff and coax them to get back in. And then of course, from there I was like, You're going to behave yourself. You're not staying here. So he had a behavioral health hospital. Well, they they took him to the emergency room first, and then from there he could not come back. So, yeah, there's there's some interesting things actually. The book that I am about to publish, it's about my experiences in working in assisted living facilities. And I have also interviewed over a dozen people. I actually started out with about 40 people, but I narrowed it down to right around a dozen people. I've weaved in their stories, working in the industry as well. And this book is being published this month, mid-month on Amazon. It's called Cold Hearts Warm Bodies, The Secrets Inside Assisted Living. And I called it that because. I'm I'm we're. Real We're really we're struggling out here that is we're like drowning. We're drowning in this silver tsunami. And it's it's getting real scary. Okay. So it's not just about communities where memory care is on the second floor is about we're dealing with. People who don't want to work. And when you don't have to work in health care and things start falling apart, it's one thing to, you know, drop a shirt at a retail store, but if you drop a frail resident, then you got some broken bones. And I talk about this kind of stuff that I have experienced in the industry. I'm also releasing a bunch of YouTube little 32nd animations because some of the stories are just over the top. Just wow, Really? And they're so some of them are really funny. This book is going to be very funny and disturbing. So the cover of it is very disturbing. It's actually a picture of that I got at 6:00 in the morning from one of my caregivers who was upset at the night shift for having left our resident covered and feces on the floor on a blue mat all night long. And you could tell it was for hours because the faces were dry. It's not like this was fresh. Right. She had them. She had dementia. She's got it all of her hands and her face. And because, you know, they're like children again. They're playing and stuff, you know. So she they took a picture of this poor lady and sent it to me. And I was the brand new executive director. I had started there only two weeks prior. And I was just I was I was sexually I was I was vexed. Like, this place is a nice place. How are you going to allow this to, you know, just you sleeping on the job? That's basically what it was. The caregivers were sleeping in the recliner chairs on the job. And I know that because I checked the cameras and that's exactly what they were doing. So I took screenshots of it so I could prove it to unemployment when I fired them. And then they say, Well, we want some unemployment, right? So anyways, that is what the cover is. It's literally of this lady laying on the floor and it's of course, it's a professionally designed cover. It's not the picture of her because that would have been a violation of her privacy. But I hired an animator and book cover designer who said he could do anything. My imagination comes up with that was like, Whoa, you're hired. So he's doing. The animation for me. And he also did the cover of the book. But yeah, so Cold Hearts, Warm Bodies, The Secrets Inside Assisted living. And I call it cold hearts and warm bodies, because that's what we're hiring right now. We're just hiring warm bodies. And these people that ain't got no hearts, they don't give a crap. They will let people lay in their filth and be playing on a cell phone. Hide. You know what I mean? And and things are happening. You got some people that are working double shifts trying to pick up for the ones who were not pulling their weight and they're burning out. And so it's it makes it harder. Right. People are not carrying their weight. Right. So that's what the book is about. Yeah. So this is so I'm sorry. Going to I'll go ahead. Well, I was just going to ask, obviously you're on the right side of this issue, but wouldn't this create legal consequences for the facility exposing this issue? This isn't for one particular facility. This is my experience over the past 20 years in multiple locations and other people's experiences as well. No names are mentioned in the book. Nobody wants to be actually the only the only person I interviewed that said, I don't care if you say my name, it's because he retired two years ago. It's was like. I don't care what they're going to do to me now. Right? But everyone. Else is like. Don't. Don't say it. Don't say it. So I have to keep them anonymous. There are no names. It's more of a general point to do. This stuff is happening Medicare there. They're taking it away. Social Security that's going away. You know, people, they want to live on disability and they want to live on welfare. I had I had a caregiver actually ask me to reduce her hourly rate. I had just hired her and she came to me and she said, you know what? I need you to reduce my hourly rate. So I it doesn't affect my welfare. And in the past I've heard people say, I need less hours, but now they they're asking me to take hourly pay away from them so they can still have their food stamps. And I'm like, we're supposed to use that for a hand to get out of the gutter, not to continue living in the gutter on a handout. Right. So it's taking away able bodied workers. And I'm looking at this across the nation. Some states are like, well, we need to have a minimum thousand dollar a month for every citizen. Or. We need to pay whatever. And I'm like, Oh, great, there's the rest of the workers. We already don't have caregivers. And now you going to pay people to sit home for even longer? You know, people are getting their tax returns right now. We can't find any caregivers. They don't want to work because they got a little bit of money. So is this real. Struggle to find great president? I'm so sorry. I'm nodding off because I. Oh, man. Because I will. I've been I'm I will see. And they are nurses sustained our health care provider for from for about eight nine years of experience and I live for burnout or burnout just really honestly just exactly the same not even burnout so much because I can live for quite a long time or whatever, but it's just like paying for rent, having relationships outside of work, just going out, work on my own things is allowed like it is was just less taxing. Do other jobs. But I did. Definitely, definitely. I can tell you stories too about like the people from the night shift. If there are other shift resources like man, is it? It is. I'm I'm ungodly. How people don't even think about other people as other people. But anyways, digressing past that though. I do like I think people again, I'm very sympathetic to everybody. So even the person that just left me on that shift, that treated this person so cruelly, so bad, like they would never treat themselves that way or their mother or anybody else. The reason why I'm just a tiny bit sympathetic for them is that this job is such you. We just talked about it. You just talked about how deep and how much you have to give and how much you have to have in your your hands to do these jobs. Now, like bone in a shirt, you're taking care of a body. It just is not only deflating to a person, not getting paid enough, but societal looking at you as someone as less of than when your job is extremely important. We all end up being a child twice in adult. So I just I don't know. I just think there's to be some more. I don't know what the answer is, but like definitely some more value should I shouldn't be playing a personal trainer double the amount that I'm getting, you know, working my hourly job, taking care of people. I tell you that much. I don't know what's going on there, but there's clearly an issue here. But yeah, I feel you. I feel you. I feel your frustration because I definitely be sitting there at the water cooler with my my coworkers talking about like, man, these people are lazy trying to cut hours. I'm working a double shift. This sounds so familiar. I'm like, I can't be working 16 hours. Why this lazy person doing nothing with sleep in? Yeah. Or a no no show? Maybe they just. Don't show up. They don't call. They just go see you. Is, is. And you're waiting. Everybody's waiting on this person so they can go home, you know, so. So this other person can go home. They done worked all these hours. They ready to go home and and the other person just don't show up. Call me. And that's a lot. Of people lot now call me. Foolish, but I think that there can be a middle ground where this person can be lazy as hell, not lazy. They're not even lazy. They are lazy, but they're just opportunistic. They're taking advantage. They don't get paid as much. They don't care about them. They don't get paid for. It's almost human nature for them to cut even more corners. There should be a set up to make them not make that decision and it would be easier for them to make the better decision. I don't know. I know that sounds very silly to me and very like sympathetic to the other side, but I ad edit patient advocacy and I talk to seniors and stuff like that and I kind of hear their point of view and it is not appropriate. But I do hear what they're saying, which is they hungry to. Yeah, Interesting. Interesting stuff. Well, very late. I thought it was a money thing. I really did think it was a money thing. But because, you know, before the pandemic, they were making like $14 an hour. 13 I remember in. 2021, I got to a community and there were still caregivers making $13 an hour. And I was like, Wow, okay. And that's in Arizona, right? I know in Nevada, it's the same way in Oregon. Same way. Well. I raised all the caregivers rates so to $20 an hour. Oh, wow. If you're willing to pass this, you're at $20 an hour. And so I was like, okay, everyone's going to $20 an hour. We gave cash bonuses for Christmas, and I'm talking 250 bucks, not just, you know, a $25 gift card. Right? We we do all these things. We stop the break room, free lunches. You don't you don't clock out for lunch. It's paid lunch and we cook for you as well. So if this is your only meal of the day, you got plenty of food, you know? So we do all these things right? But guess what? They still don't want to work. They still call off all of them. They just with money. It's it's either the lazy or the I'm burnt out. I don't want to do this anymore. But we got a lot of that stuff going on. People are burning out. They're burning out bad, especially post-pandemic, because the staffing crisis was way before the pandemic. Caregiving. We couldn't find caregivers. I remember being up in Oregon trying to hire, do job fairs, all of that stuff, and. Nobody would come. We would hire someone. They'd work for two, three days and then they'd vanish. So there's been a lot of that for years, decades. But now it's even worse. We will get 4050 applicants. And. Only a few of them show up to the interview. If they do show up, they don't show up to their first day, that kind of thing. Or they'll work two days and then they'll vanish. And it's like, Come on, are we how how do we get out of this? So I have to call up the caregiver registry companies. You know, all the nurse on demand companies, they're short staffed, too. They don't have the caregivers. Then I'm like, What are people doing to make enough money to eat? I mean, the rent went up exponentially in the state of the city of Phenix area. How are they making it? You know, but that's what we're dealing with. Not enough people to take care of our elders and the baby boomers are filtering in. We've got one lady in her early on, her late sixties, and she's just fallen apart. Oh, my gosh. She's coded twice. We've had to do CPR on her twice in the sun. Doesn't want her to be on hospice. And I'm like, too bad she's got to go on hospice if she's going to be in my facility because she's going to die. And I can't. I don't want no one dying in a facility if they're not on hospice. So it's you know, it's tricky to try a family event. What does that mean for them? What does it mean? They're not on hospice? What is. So if they're not if someone dies in my facility now, I've got a report that to Department of Health Services, because we've got a death that is that needs to be investigated If they're on hospice, they were already towards the end of their life now they're getting Medicare benefits through. Hospitals already for that. Yeah, it's just a mortuary we call hospice someone. So did you call hospice? They they come they remove the body. They're the ones that call the family. They call the mortuary. They they bring 3 hours later, they're being gurney out. You know, so we don't have to deal with any extra drama around it. And the families are in denial, thinking that their loved ones are going to live so much longer. And I'm like, no, honey, this person is like, she's in her last days, not just her last years. A lot of people think they have years, and most of the time, by the time they're looking for assisted living. They've got months. Because they're waiting till the last. They've already fallen repeatedly got utilized going back and forth into the hospital, back to the rehab, going back home. And then it happens all over again until it's just a broken cycle, a broken record, and then they end up in a facility when they've potentially now they've got, you know, staged press or pressure ulcers or or some other issues, you know, that may take them out. Right. They're already on hospice by the time they get to us a lot of times. So but when they're not on hospice, it's harder to convince the families to understand this person is, you know, towards the end of their life. So the age for the facility managing right now is late sixties. All the way through late, actually, we got two people that are 100 now. Two people just they're 100 years old now. Wow. You're in a tough business. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What are your thoughts on it? Grandpa's a senior. Oh, sorry. No, no, no, please. I didn't hear you, Brandon, but I think you addressed it. Just what are your thoughts on everything? As the resident senior citizen of the podcast? Well, I know in the situation with my mother, she had dementia, probably Alzheimer, and she wanted to stay at home. In fact, I took her to in a beautiful assisted living place. We had dinner with some of the staff and she was fine. And when they brought her up to to the room, she carried on so much they said, You'd better take her home because. Will end up in in the E.R.. And I was fortunate that I had a very good caregiver until she passed away and several other caregivers she had around the round the clock care. But she actually became, I think, less difficult as a person when she had Alzheimer than she was before she had it. And with that and there's a whole explanation of things. But, um, you know, I, I can see where, you know, there's old people have all different personalities. I was watching a program on TV. I forgot what the name they call them, the Karen or something like that, where these people are absolutely unreasonable and they may not be old and may not have dementia, but they become very difficult with store clerk and restaurant people. And I'm sure that some people with dementia are similar to those personalities. So yeah. Oh. What are you going to say? I don't know if I answered your question, Brandon, but I find this a very interesting, very interesting interview that we're having again on the program. Read part of some personality. Yeah, very upbeat. Yeah. It's always nice to be able to nerd out with somebody that's been in that has worked in the industry, you know, because it's hard to complain about stuff out of it. You know, I think people that work in health care have such they do have a morbid sense of humor because they see so much those hours. I sometimes in my, uh, like I'm working a job in an office now and people think my sense of humor is very dark and morbid. Actually, I was I was joking about that the other day. I was like, I never pay a bill again. That would be great. And they were like, Oh, so bad, It's whatever. But you've got to wake up, laugh, don't got to worry about any of this stuff. Yeah, that's great. Well, I guess what I have right here in my notes right now, I know you've been writing the book for 20 years, essentially, but when you really start writing it and what's your YouTube? So I actually I started writing at the age of nine. I have written over 20 books. And this particular book that I'm about to publish this month on Amazon, it I've been like seriously writing it since 2017. Okay, Wow. Yeah. And I'm sorry. What was the other part of your question? What's your YouTube channel? It's in a window. Oh. So, you know, I'm. When I said I'm a funny person, I wasn't joking. I am. I think it's because I'm a Gemini, too. I am a Rasta woman. I've lived in the light of Rastafari since I was in early teens. And I also go by the name Ivory. So my books that I write about black history, about Rastafari, about environmental conservation, all of that stuff is under impressive ivory and that's under my roots youth dot com website. That's my senior. Living. Oh, my dementia training and stuff like that. Those kinds of. Books those. Ones are under Jennifer a window dot. Com. So because I work in the industry right and people know me Hey Jennifer a manager in a community right And I'm like well go to Jennifer a window dotcom and you get some trainings on you know the the occipital lobe and what is about in the amygdala and the hippocampus. And at least you get versed in the dementia thing. Right? So Jennifer went to dot com when it comes to senior living in care, but when it's the African history and you know my my culture living in the light of Rastafari and other topics that roots you start com and those are all the children's books those are strictly children's books. Jennifer before you got on line with us, I'd asked Pinus and, and Sierra if they had any comments about Black History Month and I didn't. I don't recall what they told me, but do you have any comments about something that maybe we should try to learn about black history? I know that's way off the subject of what we've been talking about, but. Well, you know, actually, I just was able to go to DC about four months ago when I went to the Museum of African American History. And, you know, I am one of those people that's against having a month because, I mean, come on, really, there's not White History Month. There's not, you know, all these other kind of history months, Right. And black. The black experience in the United States is the United States history, right? It is our history as a nation, whether people want to admit that or not. Native American people who were here, that they that's that's American history, too. You know, even you know, even if it was before it was called the United States. Even if that's imprecise. I think that's exactly what famous said. Isn't that what you said? Exactly. You. Oh, I thought you were like this more. You know, remember, I was lying. I remember I said that. I remember that, you know, dementia for you remember? Yeah. So, you know, when it comes to American history. You know, I wrote a book. And it's called Made in the USA in Black and White, and it's got the illustrations. It's a it's a children's book for more of the teenagers, young adults. Okay. Because I'm sorry, old people, their minds are closed. They trying to hear it. It's just what it is. You know, they a lot of older people are stuck in their ways and there's. No. Trying to break that. But young people are more open to. You know. Understanding and learning and sympathizing and seeing sides of the story. Right. Not just history, but our story. And so this. Book that. I wrote, I did it about three, four, maybe four or five years ago. I don't even remember how many years ago now it's made in the USA in black and white. And I literally. Took both. Of the experiences, the America, The Great and American Nightmare. And I put the different perspectives in that book side by side. Oh, yes, the inventions. And look, we are in a nation and all these wonderful things, but from the other side's experience, it wasn't so sweet. Right. And it compares both of those sides of the story. And it's a timeline. It goes through several hundred years of history. And we're talking a 25 page book. It's not like it's a big thing is it's designed for teenagers. So, yeah, that one, that's what I have to say about the black experience and black history in our country. Have you ever considered going to work in the government? You know what, I. I considered. Working. For the state to be a state surveyor of assisted living facilities, but not to get caught up In all the madness of this has been systematic. There ain't no fixing of the car was broken when it rolled out of the factory, Right? And so that car, it ain't going to get me. They don't matter how. How many rims you put on that sucker. Right. So I think it's a broken car and it's not going to come out of it. It started with oppression and it'll always be that. I just have that. Is that is that cynical? But yes. Oh, most often. Oops. I tried to pretend like everything's all roses. We have elected the same people for thousands and thousands of years. I agree. Saying cut. Chins in. Office so you know. Not to work in the government like that. I don't want to be one of them. I, I know we're getting close on time. I just on that merge with what you said before about the silver skin nami and everything is falling at the seams like not that you would have just like a solution off of hand, but is everything just going to collapse in 20 years? Like, what are we headed towards? Like a great you know, if there's all of these facilities and not enough caretakers and then everything's going to explode and dementia, etc., know what I'm saying? It looks very grim. It does. I'm not even going to sugarcoat it. It looks really, really scary from where I'm standing and I question my sanity a lot. Working in this industry. My mental health definitely suffers. It's it's a really hard profession that I've chosen to be in, and it's because we don't have reliable people that actually care. And, you know what I would say like this, too. This is what also scares me. It's not just certain generations because I got people that are 60 years old coming in and they're applying for jobs, work two days, and then they quit. I literally had homegirl text me, where's my final paycheck? And I'm like, Really? You came for two days now and we are obligated pay you fine, fill out the paperwork. Well, I don't want it like that. I want to fill out the paperwork. Well, then you ain't going to be paid. You know what I'm saying? It's like, really? And this woman is like 60 something years old and she has to work. She can't retire because she can't afford not to. She should be retiring. But our country, they our country is is scary. Our children have mental health problems. We're all stuck in these devices and we're like walking around like zombies. We're not paying attention. And this is who we have to hire. And I deal with families that are upset because we don't have adequate staffing because even the staff, we do have that show work. A lot of them are totally indifferent and separated. They just don't care. And, you know, the families are paying six, seven, eight, nine,$10,000 a month for some of these, you know, facilities. Right. But what can I do? I can't clone myself and I can't fill every single shift. I mean, literally on Super Bowl Sunday, on Saturday, I filled the ship for 6:00 in the morning until Sunday afternoon at 2:00 in the afternoon. I was there. For over. 24 hours because of caregivers calling off. And this is who we have to rely on. And I'm like, how much can I take before I crash, really? So it is very difficult. And there's a lot of people that are getting out of the industry and they're trying other things because they're burning out. So it's scary. What does the future hold? You know what? Medical aid and assistance in dying. Okay, Because no one is going to want to be subjected to the cold hearts that I have worked with. Yeah. I don't know if we'll still have any kind of a democracy in time with the way things are going. Yeah. So I. Can't even. Give I still I try to stay positive as much as possible. I smile and I bite my tongue and just. I push through. I push through. Just like the rest of us. We're just trying to push through it. All of us are like teetering on this balance. Like how much more can we take? And that is really scary knowing that people are coming in younger. It's not just the 60 and 70 and 80 year olds. We got 40 and 50 and 60 year old filtering into assisted living facilities. And no one wants to work. And the skilled nursing facilities are going through the same thing in the hospitals as well. So it's it's really. Thank you so much for coming on. I have enjoyed this interview with you more than I believe any other podcast that we've done. I say that sincerely. I think that you're probably one of the most articulate person to read who's been on our show. I really believe that. That's high praise for Grandpa because we've done like 80 something and he's always like, Oh man, can I leave now? And yeah, usually, Excuse me, I'm falling asleep now. You say that. It was easier. Just get up and close the door. We'll still be rolling. Amazing. We always do. Last thoughts on the show. So, Grandpa, what's your last thought? Just what I said. I've really seriously enjoyed listening to you. You're just smart as a whip. You really are just right and very interesting. Phines. Thank you. Phines... Lots of things. I appreciate you bringing the doom and gloom into the place. First of all, because I think that we need to know, like, you know, that's what I like about this podcast is like giving people a platform to speak on this stuff. And they'd be like, Eh, I'm I'm in it now in this, I'm in it and it's bad right now. And anytime someone can hear of that, like get out, pull themselves, pull their head out of their own ass a little bit to hear someone else's thing going on. I think it does. I think it I mean, hopefully someone listen to this, or at least me, I'm taking a whole different route of it. Like, you know, just seeing that you're working really hard and I was one of people who left the medical field because of burnout. So I give it to you and I appreciate it. And this is duly, you know, like I'm taking it in and I it resonates with me some of I'm sure it resonates other people. So thank you for all the work you're doing. We appreciate it. Awesome. I'm not sure if Sierra's there, but Sierra's any. That's I'm here. I've been listening through of. Yeah, very. Another very dark, very informative episode of the show. Um, but, you know, like kind of said, it is always nice to have like a passionate expert in their field come on the show and talk about it because I saw if you listen to the show if you give it a listen, you'll know that almost every day I call every week I come out here and I say, You know, we live in hell. Everything sucks. I hate it here. I think grading as soon as possible. Um, and you just hit a lot of my core points, so I really. I really appreciate having you. Having you on, Gem. Thank you so much for coming on. So my last point. Yeah, I was just curious, like, it's almost like, like a chef writing a book that's like, like never, never go to a restaurant kind of thing, Right? Would you recommend that I keep my loved ones out of a facility like this or just be really cautious? You know what I mean? So that's a very large question to answer, because for some people, like like one person I'm thinking of, he actually wrote the, um, the synopsis for the back of the book. His wife, I know him because his wife had Alzheimer's, and then it became mixed images, but he moved her into the memory care facility when she started getting physically violent at home, he could no longer take care of her. The facility he moved her into was a good facility. The executive director, he actually some of his stories are in the book. I interviewed him, 35 year veteran executive director, and he he had the place running very well. Of course, we were still short with caregivers, but we made it work. Okay. So she was in a better place and it was actually a good place. She was taken care of 4 hours a day. And when she got to the point where she was, you know, total care, he knew that she was, you know, will care for it. So he again wrote the synapses to the back of the book called Heart Warm Bodies The Secrets Inside Assisted Living. Now, not everyone is going to be able to afford assisted living, or maybe if they don't have money, they can go on to Medicaid, not Medicare. Medicare does not pay for assisted living, but Medicaid does. And it's called something different in every single state. That's that's when it would be scarier because the Medicaid buildings. Oh, my gosh, there's a lot more. Negative things going on in those because like right now I'm getting about $220 per day private pay. We do not accept Medicaid in our building. It's strictly a private pay building. You had to have long term care insurance or a whole lot of money to be able to afford that. Or veterans or nice pension something, right. Medicaid there, they might be getting reimbursed 100, 120, maybe even $150 a day. Probably not. Not 150 most likely. And so there's not really a lot of money to put back into those buildings. A lot of the Medicaid buildings that I of had bugs, bugs and drugs. And that's almost what I named the book. When you say day, you're talking about 24 hour period when you use the. 20. Four hour period. So around $200 per day is what senior living costs in the state of Arizona. And if you have dementia, then it could be more like that $220 per day or, you know, it's getting it's getting even more expensive than that. So, yeah, it's a lot. Not everybody can afford it. Not everyone can afford a good place. And then with even with good places, you never know when there's going to be a change of ownership or a change of management. And somebody can come in and they absolutely crazy and they try to run a show or corporate doesn't allow, you know, the executive director to do what is needed to make the facility run. Well, there's just so many different dynamics with saying, yes, you should in or no, you should. Where do I. Sign up. For you, Grandpa? No worries. But definitely check out the book because I write all about this cold heart bodies, The secrets inside assisted living it. It'll be on Amazon March, March 17th. Wendy Day What. Is the last thought, Jen, that you want to impart on the audience? And then if you could read way, way, way. Way. Way, way, way. Brandon You got to give you, you got to give it thought. You gave her a question and thought. And like. It is I'll, I'll sign grandpa up now I don't, I don't know. I'm just this is, this is helping me spiral down. But you have been one of the coolest, best guests and really passionate and informative. And I'm very happy and grateful that you've been on the show, so I really appreciate that. So thank you. Thank you for having me on the show. Your last thought. Learn as much about dementia as you can while you're young and get private long term care insurance because we're all going to get old and have to pay for some type of care. And then we're. Stop being so afraid of hospice. Just because you're going on hospice doesn't mean you're going to die. It just means we're going to have extra help now. Okay. Cool. All right. Where can people find you and all the links and stuff like that? I am. Of course, you can go to my website and that's where you can find lot of the YouTube videos, a lot of my books and things. I do a lot of senior care planning and end of life care planning, stuff like that. As a do la jennifer a winter winder become check in i f e r a w i in the a dot com and I'm on facebook but not really a lot. I'm trying. To get more into social media, but. I'm so. Busy that I love to write. But sometimes my writing consists of speaking into my phone while I'm driving to work because it's hard to find the time to just sit down and do some of these things that I love. So yeah. Jennifer a Windsor dot com. You can definitely see, you know, my books and things like that on there. And I know I'm on Instagram but I, I think it's I don't think it's Jennifer Windsor. In a window probably. However Yeah we're even yeah I'm pretty pretty bad with socials myself so no worries. Well thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And thank you for having me on your show. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Grandpa's on. The line. Grandpa, stop. Whoa Yeah, you're getting nice. All right. Bye. Yeah. Yeah.